Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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