he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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