Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
