Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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