North Korea, Best Korea!
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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