happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
