it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
