Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Randomize