Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
How does it feel to date your dad?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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