the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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