I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
