At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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