No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Quick, to the slutcave!
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
