So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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