I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
