You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
