If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
