You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize