i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
thus making me awesome and them whores
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
