I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
she smelled like a LAN party
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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