6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i permit you to call me
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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