I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
