Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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