I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
