O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
