I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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