You're my little dorito
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
