Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
