Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
