We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
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I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
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I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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