If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
