Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just forgot I was standing up.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
