i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
