Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It's never too late to be topless.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
