Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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