The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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