I can text with my tongue
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
