Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I still have a little drunk in my system
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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