yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
