we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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