So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize