what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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