I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize