you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
