first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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