): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
what day is it and did you see me today?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
