so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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