Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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