Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
