every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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