I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
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put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
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Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
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