in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
