Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
