Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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