Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
