the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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