Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
