So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
