YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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