oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
