Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
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Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
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We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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