I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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