I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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