i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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