I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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