Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
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I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
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I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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