i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
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I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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