i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
they're like a gay fantastic four
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
